Archive for March 2007

Banana’s deserve our protection too…

March 16, 2007


By:  Fred Jackson 

After installing democracy in various developing countries throughout the world, don’t you think we should begin protecting our food supply from those that wish to harm Americans?  Chiquita Banana brand attempted to do just that by hiring a local security firm to provide protection for their banana plantations, and was punished for their good intentions.

I always assumed that the major cost of banana production was incurred in the supply chain.  Boy was I wrong… Fox News reported that the Chiquita banana corporation was fined $25 Million USD for it’s payments to a highly trained security organization that happens to be on the US Terrorist watch list.  The company admitted to paying upwards of $1 Million USD to the United Self-Defense forces of Columbia who is on the Terrorist watch list for their part in ongoing civil conflicts within Columbia.  Hopefully, we can trust that our leading potassium supplier is still inspired to protect their precious cargo from all elements which cause harm.  

After a search for alternate means of protection, I came up with the following:

  1. Banana Guard – whose curved shape gets criticized for not “fitting” all bananas
  2. Banana Bunker – Preferred choice of housewives who enjoy the ribbed edges
  3. Traditional Method – Demonstration video of how to prevent a banana attack

Hopefully Chiquita is still going to maintain their protection of our food supply, and I encourage them to investigate the above protection methods as soon as possible to help insure our families are safe.  Chiquita Bananas, I applaude your effort to keep our food supply safe, and I love the hot latino with the fruity headdress… Keep up the good work!